I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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