Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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