Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
