i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
