I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
