i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
