I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think people are normalizing furries
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