why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
