is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
