He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
