i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
