YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
