I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
