But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
