i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
