My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
