I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
