Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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