lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
