does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My feet surprised me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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