so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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