I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
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In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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