The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
