Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
