shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
