i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.