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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

  (1-857): View more from Massachusetts

  Doors?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha

  Fav 4 2388 733

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together

  Fav 36 6305 1964

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.

  Fav 33 6250 1116

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.

  Fav 4 3258 1007

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.

  Fav 12 1720 747

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.

  Fav 7 1699 806

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.

  Fav 8 1199 985

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.

  Fav 7 1470 576

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom

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