Texts From Last Night

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  (+33): View more from France

  I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.

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  (+33): I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing. http://tfl.nu/69za
  Replies (13) Good night (900) Bad night (2154)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.

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  (+49): i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve. http://tfl.nu/21ct
  Replies (7) Good night (3129) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.

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  (603): this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with. http://tfl.nu/tzze
  Replies (36) Good night (13843) Bad night (1115)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.

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  (905): Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should. http://tfl.nu/b27t
  Replies (45) Good night (9220) Bad night (2799)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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  (458): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/m88d
  Replies (22) Good night (6169) Bad night (1791)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.

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  (705): You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden. http://tfl.nu/3tyu
  Replies (11) Good night (2016) Bad night (1208)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter

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  (336): i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter http://tfl.nu/ntue
  Replies (7) Good night (2702) Bad night (1035)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.

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  (540): Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/c8hf
  Replies (7) Good night (1666) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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  (215): before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess http://tfl.nu/dqew
  Replies (15) Good night (2178) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home

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  (423): I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in (1-423): Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home http://tfl.nu/1crt
  Replies (4) Good night (680) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.

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  (217): sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar. http://tfl.nu/imgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1507) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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  (817): Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one. http://tfl.nu/mit2
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails

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  (703): I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails http://tfl.nu/g65f
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.

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  (306): Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people. http://tfl.nu/i3ck
  Replies (0) Good night (707) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog

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  (701): I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog http://tfl.nu/mfuj
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (218)

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