Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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(563): i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up. http://tfl.nu/69xm

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(605): View more from South Dakota

you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

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(605): you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out? http://tfl.nu/fgrz

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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(920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g

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(410): View more from Maryland

There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

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(410): There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to. http://tfl.nu/sxdr

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(817): View more from Texas

This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"

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(817): This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here" http://tfl.nu/277o

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...

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(781): I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing... http://tfl.nu/jqiv

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(406): View more from Montana

I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage

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(406): I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage http://tfl.nu/3msa

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(716): View more from New York

Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases

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(716): Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases http://tfl.nu/lpic

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(845): View more from New York

Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."

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(845): Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches." http://tfl.nu/j5or

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(626): View more from California

I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?

(949): View more from California

OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.

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(626): I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me? (949): OH MY GOD. SO PROUD. http://tfl.nu/ybsq

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(248): View more from Michigan

Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."

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(248): Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent." http://tfl.nu/u4zv

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.

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(952): Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead. http://tfl.nu/k34x

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(307): View more from Wyoming

She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.

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(307): She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche. http://tfl.nu/hl4o

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(415): View more from California

I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game

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(415): I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/4656

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(731): View more from Tennessee

He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me

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(731): He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me http://tfl.nu/hoyn

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