Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
