wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
