I just saw a hot homeless man
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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