One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think a kid would responsible me up
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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