I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
