bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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