The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize