You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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