saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
