Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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