look no pants
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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