Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
