My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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