Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize