Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
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