woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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