What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
