you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize