My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You pole danced in your parka.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
