how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
