Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
