The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
