so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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