i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
false alarm. still invincible.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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