Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
