is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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