Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
