Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
