But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
