Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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