I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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