I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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