no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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