Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
