two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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