I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
