Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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